Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

-C.S. Lewis

Monday, August 15, 2005


Not sure I understand the concept behind the Veggieburger. If you want veggies, wherefore the complusion to pretend it's a burger? Someone once told me, in defense of the Veggieburger, that I wouldn't be able to taste the difference. My response to that is: WTF? Why would I want to play make-believe with my food? Why not just eat one of the literally thousands of vegetarian dishes there are in this world? If you want to eat some veggies, it's not like you don't have options.

For a little perspective, consider a product I'm considering marketing someday. It's called Meetey-Veg. Made from processed meat product, pressed into, say, broccoli spears, dyed green and artificially flavored, it allows grown men to finally eat their vegetables. Now isn't that ridiculous? Then what if, as your face revulsed at the prospect of actually biting down on such a horror, I declared that the reason you shouldn't worry is that it tastes "just like broccoli"?

And don't nobody give me that "just for the taste of it" crap of I like veggieburgers better than hamburgers. Because you don't. Why? Because veggieburgers taste awful and you know it. This isn't about taste. It's about lying to yourself over and over again until you don't even know your own name. So how about I grill up a veggie-burger, boil some meetey-veg asparagus, and wash it down with a glass of soy "milk." Pretending is fun! Maybe for next meal, I'll wear an eyepatch and dress up like a pirate!

This blog is based on a true story.